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Sunday is my birthday. I turn 55 years old.
That is not a typo. It’s hard to believe, but it’s true.
In improv years, that makes me 104.
Even I am amazed I’ve been around that long, teaching and performing improv.
My life is not what I imagined it would be when I took my first improv class more than 34 years ago.
It’s actually better. I have gotten something I never had, something I never wanted, and that is a life.
A loving family.
A beautiful daughter, Betsy.
An amazing wife, Lauren.
A cat, Coco.
And I’m part of many supportive communities so I am no more than a phone call away from help.
So I would like to say thank you to improv for slowly teaching me what it means to say “Yes, And” in my life and stay out my own way so I could have a life larger than I ever imagined.
Thank you, improv, for showing me when I take my self too seriously, which is more than you think.
And most importantly, thank you to the people that I have worked with and met over the years, the friends I have made and the students I continue to get to work with.
A great scene in improv is one where we don't know where it's going to go. It’s equally parts scary and exciting, with some fun mixed in -- not much different than my terrific life.
For those who knew me in the past, you’re probably like “What has happened to Jimmy? He used to be such a downer.”
He’s still there, but for today, and just like I have learned in improv, I decided to make the positive choice, and I have to say, it looks good on me.
I have one thing to ask you before you go, and that is in the comments section below if you could wish me a happy birthday, it would really help me with low self-esteem.
Have you ever gotten off stage after a so-called bad show and immediately started blaming your teammates in your head for what went wrong?
Even if you don’t tell them you’re blaming them, when you start to focus on other people as the problem, you run the risk of alienating them. Not a good move in an art form that is dependent on the trust and support of other people.
Blaming the audience doesn’t really help either.
We have all done this when the show doesn’t go the way we want it to go.
Unfortunately, I sometimes still do it, and when I do, here are three things that I’ve realized about it:
With all my years of group therapy, reading self-help books and improvising, I’m well aware that when I’m blaming other people for my problems, that makes me the victim. But that doesn’t stop me.
Yes, I fully understand that you cannot get better and blame others at the same time, because you have no room to look at what your part might be.
For example, instead of blaming your teammates for having a bad show, maybe it went wrong because of something you did on stage. But it could also be more subtle -- like maybe you were running around doing a hundred things before the show so you weren’t very present on stage, or maybe you stayed out at the bar until 3 a.m. the night before so you were tired, or any other version of not taking care of yourself.
And often, when a show didn’t go as well as I would have liked, it’s because I had expectations for how others should behave. The audience didn’t respond the way I would have liked them to or my teammate didn’t play the way I wanted him to play.
No matter what, if don't use this time to look at myself, I am going to be stuck. My improv will hit a self-made plateau.
At this point, you can probably relate to the whole blaming nonsense, but you may be asking yourself: How can I stop it?
You can't.
I am certainly not dumb enough to say, “Just stop blaming others.”
For me, when I am in my blame period, I try to be really nice to myself, go to the gym, work out, sit in the sauna, mediate, or call a friend. It is no different than when I have the flu. I let it run its course and when I am feeling better, I can gently look at my part.
Sometimes it will take me a couple of hours, sometimes days to let go of the blaming, and when I am ready, I can look at what I learned from that show. I will discuss my part with my therapist, my other improv friends or my wife, Lauren.
I am a fragile, over-sensitive artist with a slightly big ego. I can take improv and my life way too seriously at times. Yes, I need to get over myself – it’s improv for God’s sake. I am fully aware of this, and I am making progress and in my life and an improv. And that’s really all that matters.
I recently got a call from an old improv friend. He was calling me to tell me that he had gotten a new job.
He was excited, almost giddy. He told me that he was now the head of human resources at a prominent TV station. And he said, “I can thank improv for this new job."
I was a little confused. So, I asked him to explain.
"In my last job, I was a trainer, and I was hired because of my improv experience. And this job I got because of my training experience," he said.
I think there's this idea out there that if we don’t get on SNL, or land a job writing for Colbert, or worse, if we move back home and stop performing altogether, we have failed in improv. But the truth is, improv can be a tool that helps us develop all kinds of muscles and skills that are valuable in life, even if we don’t end up “making it” in comedy.
Improv teaches you how to be comfortable speaking in front of people, how to collaborate well with others, how to be more creative, how to have more confidence. It teaches you how to be a better listener, salesperson, writer and communicator.
Hearing about my friend’s new job made me think about how many other improvisers I have known who have landed great jobs in un-improv related fields because of their improv background.
We rarely hear those stories, but they are just as important as the ones about the people who get a spot on SNL.
I am grateful my friend called me and shared his good news with me because I need to remember this not only for the students I teach, but more importantly for me.
Because even though at 55 I have been fortunate enough to make my living by teaching and improvising on a regular basis, I still don't know where I am going to end up. I actually hope there is something great in store for me in my career that has nothing directly to do with improv, yet has everything to do with the skills I’ve learned through this art form. I can’t wait to find out what that is.
The other day I heard someone give a pretty inspiring talk, and at the end of it he said, "The most important thing we can do is be present when we are with other people.” I immediately thought of improv.
Today, it’s called mindfulness, and it’s being taught in schools, practiced in offices and become a buzzword you hear all the time on social media. The reason it’s so popular is because we have so many distractions -- between technology, social media, multi-tasking and our constant on-the-go culture, it’s become harder and harder to stay focused on one thing at time.
Luckily, being mindful is something that we as improvisers are trained to do. The audience actually rewards us for being present, by laughing and clapping, even though they might not even know it.
And the more mindful we can be in our improv, the better we’ll be on stage. When we focus on being in the present, rather than thinking about all of the other things in our head, we can be better listeners, we can respond more authentically in the moment, and we can be more relaxed, which is the best state to be in on stage to access your creativity.
Often when beginning students take my Art of Slow Comedy Level 1 class, they’ll ask me what they can do in between classes to get better at improvising. And the short answer is to work on being more present in your everyday life.
When you are out with your friends, stop looking at your cell phone. When you’re home washing dishes in your apartment don't try to multi-task -- just do one thing at time. And the hardest, but most beneficial thing you can do is to slow the fuck down.
If you are constantly rushing from your job to a show or rehearsal without some down time to decompress from work or eat a healthy meal, you are not going to be very mindful on stage. You have to slow down long enough to let your mind be present.
Sure, you have to work on your craft by taking class and doing shows, but don't forget that in this art form, the most important thing to work on is yourself.
Here are three things that I have done to be more mindful in my improv.
Lately, however, I have tried a new technique based on a Hawaiian healing method called Ho’o Ponopono that has actually been helping me let go of my judgmental thoughts. According to this philosophy, when a judgmental thought comes up, either while I’m improvising or in my life, I say “I love you” over and over again. As you read this you may think I am nuts. (If so, this would be a good time to use the "I love you" method over and over). In all seriousness, this practice has really worked for me and has helped both my improvising and teaching.
You don't have to have an altar and use incense to create a ritual for yourself. It can be as simple as taking off an hour early from your day job on the night of your improv show and making a healthy meal instead of rushing to the theater after scarfing down a frozen pizza. Trust me, self-care will translate to your performance on stage.
I have learned in improv that if something is fun in a scene, do more of it.
I get that’s how it works in improv, but I’m not as good at applying that same concept in my own life.
But the other day, I was driving home from the grocery store with my two-and-half year old daughter, Betsy, and when I turned down the alley behind our house, I saw a gigantic tan stuffed teddy bear sitting by the dumpster. He looked so lonely leaning on the brick wall, so I said to Betsy, "Do you want him?"
Kind of a stupid question. What toddler would not want a brand new (looking) huge stuffed bear that was close to five feet tall?
This is where I would usually let my “real life” self get in the way of me following the fun. Practically, I was concerned about germs. Spiritually, I was concerned about the energy I was bringing in from the previous owners.
But for once, I put those thoughts out of my head and just decided to embrace the fun.
Even though no one else seemed to want him, I still felt a little self-conscious getting out of the car and squeezing him into the front passenger’s seat. I didn’t want my neighbors seeing me picking a toy out of the trash for my daughter. I mean, as an improv teacher, I have an image to uphold.
As I pulled into our garage, which is about 100 yards from the dumpster, I started to have doubts, as most parents would, that I didn’t do the right thing by picking up the bear. I didn't know the circumstances about why this orphan bear had been left in the alley. I did like the idea that we were saving him, though.
Still unsure about my decision to bring this stuffed animal into our home, I told Betsy we could only keep him for two days. She agreed.
That night after she want to sleep, I moved him from the den to the garage, figuring if he did have some bad energy it would be contained to the garage.
The next day, Betsy and her nanny headed out to get bagels, and they put the bear in the car with them. By the time they got home, Betsy had named the bear Pete.
Soon, the bear was back up in our family room, making himself part of the family.
That night Betsy and I put a blanket on him and she wanted to scratch his back and sing him a song to put him to sleep, just like I do when I put her to sleep. I even added a voice to him that she seemed to really love.
The next morning I needed Pete's help. Betsy was scared to go to preschool because she was going to have a substitute teacher, and I figured Pete could be a positive distraction for Betsy's fear, so I told her to feed him breakfast (a chocolate Dunkin’ munchkin), and he came back in the car with us again.
As you can guess, we’ve now gone way past the two days that Pete was allowed to stay. I mean, how can you kick someone out who is earning his keep?
What has become clear to me is that I didn’t pick Pete out of the garbage for Betsy. I did it for me.
We are taught in improv to follow the fun, and if something is fun just keep doing more of it. Maybe I am starting to take my own advice. Thanks for the lesson, Pete. Stay as long as you like.
Artists take risks. They evolve.
They are excited about trying new things, even when they flat-out fail because they know they will have many more failures than successes. They really don't fail; they learn and grow.
And they are always seeking inspiration. That is their rocket fuel.
I think about my favorite musicians like Neil Young, Paul Simon and Bruce Springsteen, all of whom I believe are truly artists. Their music evolved from one record to the next.
What I find interesting is we think all they did was make one hit song after another. Yet they have had songs or even whole albums there were completely forgettable, some might even say flops. But I would argue that without the flops, these artists could not keep churning out the hit songs and albums.
And these are only the songs they recorded. Just think about all the songs they wrote that didn’t even make it into the recording studio, or their early songs that they wrote as they were developing their voice as an artist?
When you’ve been improvised for a while it’s so easy to get complacent. You go on auto pilot and you stop learning, stop growing, stop evolving. Your inspiration has dried up. You start treating your improv shows like just getting together with your friends for a couple of beers. You may even leave your show feeling you are just wasting your time and think, “What am I doing with my life?”
But when you were first starting out the joy was all in the learning. You were humble because you didn’t know shit, and you were fine with that.
That’s why you can’t stop trying new things or taking risks. Because if you don’t, it won’t become art anymore, and worse, it will no longer be fun.
If you feel like your improv has plateaued lately, here are three things that can make feel like an artist again.
So, If you think you improv is a little bland, all you may need to do is add a little inspiration, which you can find almost anywhere.
Two weeks ago I performed a Jimmy and Johnnie show -- an improv show that I have been doing for the last six years with John Hildreth at Second City.
Each month we pick a special guest to improvise with us, and this time it was Joe Bill. The three of us always work well together. That night was no exception.
The show was great. Our first scene, which I think went on for 10 minutes, was about me having a garage sale and John and Joe were trying to negotiate the price of my couch. It was one of those rare times that I hard time not laughing in the scene.
I got hardly any laughs during the show. Instead, I grounded the scenes and set John and Joe up multiple times to create scenarios where they would get the laughs. The show was truly effortless and fun – almost a spiritual experience.
After the show, a long-time improviser whom I have an incredible amount of respect for came up to me and gave me one of the best compliments I have ever gotten. He said "I have been watching improv for 30 years and that was one of the most selfless performances I have ever seen."
Had I gotten this compliment when I first started improvising, I don’t think it would have made any sense to me. (Honestly, I’m not sure I would have fully understood it until last month).
Why would I want to have a selfless performance? Shouldn’t I want to get the most laughs?
The compliment I typical fish for is "You were the funniest one up there,” certainly not “You are so selfless.”
But, when I heard it, I was proud.
I realize that being a selfless performer is not only a gift to your fellow performers, but it can actually be fun in its own right. When you let go of trying to prove something, you can just be in the flow and enjoy the ride.
The fact that I could feel a sense of accomplishment by serving the scenes feels like a miracle. It was easy and effortless and I didn’t experience any of the competitiveness ans self doubt I sometimes feel when doing a show.
Turns out, I get a lot of joy and satisfaction simply by serving the show.
Being a selfless performer is not always easy. Sometimes I still want to be the funniest one up there. But I know that the more happy and fulfilled I am in my own life, the easier it is for me to be selfless on stage. I hope it continues.
Oh, and if you want some advice on how to be a good supportive player, check out this blog.
Any improviser doing long form knows that editing can make or break a show. Good editing is balancing act between letting the improv scenes develop and not letting them go on too long to drag down the show.
Whether you’re looking to improve your editing skills, or you are an improv teacher looking for ideas on how to teach editing, I wanted to share three things that help my students become better at editing.
I am always looking for new ways to teach editing. If you have games or exercises that you have found helpful, please let me know in the comment section below.
We are told all the time in improv just have fun up there and everything will take care of itself.
But what if you don't have fun in your real life?
Well, then you are screwed.
I am speaking from experience.
I cannot give something away that I don't have. And when I try to fake fun on stage or in life, I look and sound fakey.
So what do you do if you are miserable and your life sucks?
Well, I can tell you if you want to do better improv, the problem may be that you aren't having enough fun in your life.
I should know. I have been doing extensive research on this topic for over 40 years, and I have not made any progress until the last couple of years since we had my daughter Betsy.
Now that she’s a little over 2-and-a-half, that kid is at the age when she’s all about play. Everything is about having fun.
She wants to play tipping me over.
She wants me to call her Miss Hannigan (Carol Burnett's character from the movie Annie) or Miss Hanna for short.
She wants to call me Daddy Warbucks (again from the movie Annie).
She wants her stuffed bear, Chloe, to not only change her stinky poopie, but look at it and smell it. (I have taught her she can’t touch or eat her stinky poopie, because that is what good dads do).
Brooms are guitars.
She makes up songs in the back of the car.
Everything is a game with no rules.
Everything is play.
What she is in life is what I would like to be on stage: She is free.
For me, I believe in the cliché, "Those who can't, teach." That takes nothing away from my teaching, I am great teacher who keeps getting better. But it is not lost on me that the reason I was attracted to improv in the first place is, unlike my daughter, I did not get to play as a kid. Yes, I am trying to get my childhood back and help others do the same. I just did it not think it would take being a father to get me there.
I'm not saying you have to have kids to have fun, but you do have to find ways to have fun in your life in order to bring fun to your improv. So, go bowling. Or plan a murder mystery party. Or sing in the car. Or use a British accent when you order your take-out. Just find a way to make yourself play, and you'll be amazed how much more free you will feel in your improv.
As a father of a two-and-a-half year old, I read a lot of children’s books. I mean, a lot. Not only does she have a bookshelf full of them, but she wants to read them over, and over and over. Some are good. Some are not so good. And some I’ve even memorized.
So when I found out recently that someone had written a children’s book about improv, I was intrigued. The book is called Hank and Stella in Something from Nothing, and it’s the story of two cute stuffed animals – Hank, a dog, and Stela, a bunny – who learn what improv is all about. There are even some fun improv games you can play with your kids at the back of the book.
The book is written by Damian Synadinos, an improviser and improv teacher from Columbus, OH. A father of two, Synadinos started improvising in 2007 after a co-worker invited him to her improv graduation show, and he’s been hooked ever since.
Last week, I reached out to Synadinos to ask him some questions about how he got the inspiration for the book, why it’s important to teach improv to kids, and how he uses improv in his parenting.
Q: How did you come up with the idea for the book?
A: My kids love to read, and I love to read to them. And after reading them piles and piles of excellent (and not-so-excellent) books, I decided to write one myself. I wanted it to be both entertaining and educational, so that they would “laugh while they learn.” After I figured out “why” I wanted to write a book, I had to decide what to write about to fulfill the “why.” Professionally, I’m a speaker and trainer and frequently use applied improv to help adults “laugh while they learn” various fundamental concepts and life skills. And since these fundamental concepts and life skills are also useful and applicable to kids, I decided to write a book about improv, to be both entertaining and educational.
Originally, the book was only intended for my own kids. However, after producing a single copy and sharing it on social media, it got plenty of positive feedback and attention. Then, after a bit of research, I learned that there were no other improv storybooks for kids. And so, I… decided to make the book available to a wider audience. I wanted full control, so I launched a Kickstarter campaign to help pay for self-publishing costs and finally made the book available for sale in June 2018.
Q: Who are Hank and Stella?
A: Hank (the dog) and Stella (the bunny) are my kids’ real-life, stuffed animal friends (lovies). Since the book was originally intended for my kids, I thought they’d enjoy seeing their favorite friends as stars of the book. However, I think that the Hank and Stella characters are also fun, cute, and relatable to many other young kids, as well.
Q: Any truth to the rumor that the success of the book has gone to Hank and Stella's heads?
A: Unfortunately, yes. They’ve started screening their calls and are looking for representation. Hank already bought a 2019 Jaguar F-type with book proceeds. A Matchbox Jaguar, but still…
Q: Why is it important to introduce improv to children at such a young age?
A: Because the principles and skills of improv are also useful at play and in life. They can help kids (or anyone!) develop their imaginations, play cooperatively, increase their confidence, and so much more… Plus, kids are usually more malleable than adults. Compared to adults, kids are more willing and able to consider and accept new and different ideas. And so, introducing improv to children makes sense as you have a better chance at instilling good and useful ideas and behaviors that will develop as they grow and help change lives.
Q: What have you learned from your kids that have made you a better improviser and teacher?
A: Many things. Here’s two: Patience. Not in the sense of “they’re trying my…” (although sometimes that, too), but in the sense of being better at accepting and tolerating delay. Sometimes, I observe my kids as they carefully and quietly consider some situation or problem before acting. And in addition, I’ve become better at waiting for them. This has helped me in class and on stage as I am now more likely to consider and tolerate silence and delays. On stage, I used to think that someone should always be speaking, and I’d often try to fill up any silence with noise. However, that’s usually all it was: noise. Not real, meaningful, thoughtfully-considered content. Now, thanks to my kids, I am more aware that silence and waiting on stage (and in life) is natural and ok.
They’ve also taught me perspective. Adults have years of learning, examples, and experience about how they “should” see the world. However, kids don’t. Most kids have not yet developed strong biases, social norms, expectations, etc. And so, their perspective is often surprising and refreshing. And as I enjoy watching them view the world through their untarnished lens, I also get to practice empathy as I strive to see and feel things as they do. And as I develop my perspective and empathy, it helps me on stage as I consider my own character, the characters of others, the scene, the situation, and more – all moving towards a more interesting, entertaining, and successful improv experience. And, of course, enhanced perspective and empathy are important in life, as well.
Q: How do you use improv in your parenting?
A: Lots of ways. One example is a game I sometimes play with my kids that we call, “Or what else…?” In the game, I pose some question or problem and then ask them to think of solutions. Like, “How can I get an apple out of a tall tree?” After they come up with an answer, I agree and then ask, “Or what else…?” Then they try and come up with another (and another, and another) way to answer the question or solve the problem. It is essentially a long game of “Take That Back.” But it helps develop their imagination, creativity, problem solving skills, and more.
Another example is related to the idea of “no mistakes in improv.” When my kids have an accident or make a mistake, I often try to help them think about how or why that accident or mistake might actually be a good thing. This helps teach them that the reaction to an accident or mistake is usually more important than the accident or mistake itself. And it also helps them exercise and develop their perceptions.
Looking to get out of your improv rut? Try Jimmy's unique approach. The Art of Slow Comedy Level 1 starts March 13, and you can save $30 if you sign up by Feb. 27. Sign up today!