I hear this all the time from my students who are just starting out in improv: "Be Hard on Me." "Don't Hold Back." "I don't need all these positive notes like I am doing nothing wrong up there."

I get it. I was totally the same way. I think some of us come from parents or teachers who thought it was their job to criticize us, thinking that would make us better. I once heard a woman say her mom used to say to her growing up, "I criticize you because I love you."

Then we take an improv class and things we got scolded or shamed for as a kid – such as being silly, being loud, being provocative -- are now being rewarded. It can be confusing. We are playing and no one is judging us. We are getting that positive reinforcement we did not get growing up. And it’s uncomfortable. We don't trust it. We feel like this is some sort of scam, and the more encouragement we get, the worse we feel. We are convinced we aren't getting better when the opposite is true. We are making progress, we just refuse to give ourselves credit for it. If you taking one fucking improv class, you are 98 percent braver then the rest of the world. But I know you don't want to go there.

So, how do I improve then, Mr. Pollyanna Carrane, if everything I do is so wonderful?

Okay, settle down. I hear you. If you want to get better when you first start out, you have to build off of what are doing well first, because if you don't, you will want to quit or kill yourself, two things I am hoping you will avoid.

Getting positive feedback is important for your confidence. So, please be kind to yourself, and soak up all the good feedback you get from your teacher and classmates like a dirty kitchen sponge. Taking in positive feedback is a way of reprogramming yourself. It has taken me years to take in positive feedback because that isn’t my natural state, and I still don't do it perfectly. But if you are going to stick around for a while, and I hope you do, this is a must.

I remember not so long ago after doing an Improv Nerd live show, I was driving home on Belmont Avenue with Lauren. I thought I did I good job in the show, and feeling insecure and wanting some reassurance, I turned to Lauren in the car and said, "What did you think?"

She immediately went into a critique of the show. I got angry and shouted, "How about starting with the positives first?" Which she did. There is no way I could hear the things I need to work on until I had taken in the things that went well. I was too defensive, and when I am in that place I am not getting better, I am only getting miserable. Which in improv is not the place you want to be.

Need to get inspired again in your improv? Don't miss Jimmy's Two-Person Scene Tune-Up workshop, happening Dec. 30. Sign up today!

I am delusional. I usually think that if I want to make more money in the performing arts, I just have to work harder. But the truth is when I do what the Universe wants me to do creatively, the money usually comes in, and usually not how I expect it.

For the last several months, I’d been wanting to write and perform a piece about my dad’s funeral, but I’d been sitting on it out of fear. Out of embarrassment. Out of whole bunch of unresolved trauma.

Anyway, with a lot of help from my friend, Gary Rudoren; my wife, Lauren; and my group therapy, I finally put it up at Louder Than a Mom, one of my favorite storytelling nights in Chicago. And it killed. I am tough critic of my own work, and even I thought it killed. I was so proud of it. I had a performance high for a week. I didn’t get paid, but that’s not why I did it. I did it to try out new material. I did it because it builds my confidence. I did it because it was an investment in myself.

And that creative investment really paid off, because the following week I had six on- camera auditions for parts in TV shows and commercials. Six! Then out of nowhere, my agent e-mailed me asking if I was available to shoot a commercial on Tuesday. “Of course, yes, I am available," I wrote back. This was a commercial that I hadn't even auditioned for! And guess what? I got it off an old headshot.

Was all of this just a coincidence, or was it directly related to me putting up my piece about my dad's funeral?

Lauren kept saying it was "dumb luck" that I got the commercial. I don't see it that way.

I have seen this happen time and time again — when I put effort into something that fills me up creatively and let go of “trying” to make money, the money comes. The problem is I keep forgetting it. I keep losing faith because I am too busy trying to control or predict the outcome.

I had put myself out there with my piece and then I showed up to all those auditions —some of them I even showed up to early — and the Universe took me seriously because I took myself seriously. Even if it was only for two weeks, it was working.

Of course this is easy to say in hindsight. It’s totally different when you are in the thick of it, schlepping back and forth from auditions and getting frustrated trying to figure out why you are not getting cast.

As you know, I have many talents, and telling stories is just one of them. It’s the one I struggle the hardest with because it’s the one where I am the most vulnerable, but it is also the one right now that is bringing me the most rewards, even if I cannot always see them immediately.

Want the Universe to open things up for you? Focus on your art in Jimmy's next Two-Person Scene Tune-Up, happening Dec. 30. Only $79 if you register by Dec. 14!

Every once in a while we get lost in an improv scene. We freeze, not knowing what to do next. We panic, shut down, feel defeated. But if we pause for a second, we can usually get ourselves back on track – if we know a few basic tips. Think of these tips as your life preserver to use as you are drowning in the improv ocean; they’ll save you from dying a horrible death on stage.

1. Mirroring
I have found this the quickest and easiest way to get in sync with your partner when you feel lost in a scene. Mirror their character. If they are a loud, bombastic person, I mirror the same in my character. If they are a shy, quiet nerd, I am a shy quiet nerd. Some improvisers say, "I can't do that. That's is cheating. I am stealing their character." I felt that way at first, too. But we are not auditioning for SNL, we are just trying to build a scene together. Remember, you are being inspired by your partner’s choice rather than stealing their idea, and even when you are mirroring their character, you are not playing the same character because you are two different people. Got it?

2. Agree Your Ass Off
When you’re lost in an improv scene, you probably have no ideas in your head, so instead of trying to come up with something, heighten your listening and agree your ass off. Anything your partner says, just reply with "yes" and hopefully add a piece of information or a specific detail to what they just said. Ok, most likely this will be a basic agreement improv scene, but so what? It’s better than staring at your partner like you are a deer in the headlights. I have found that simple, basic agreement scenes are some of the most fun, especially if you also emotionally committing your ass off.

3. Have a Strong Emotional Reaction
Having a strong, heightened emotional response to something your partner just said is a great way to jump start a scene when you don't what to do next. If your partner says, "I am going to Starbucks to get a Frappuccino," you might respond sadly: “You’re breaking up me with me! You’re not really coming back."

Or you might respond frightened: "I have to go with you! It will look suspicious if it's just you."

Or you might say flirty: "Just like when we were dating. I'll meet you in the bed when you get back."

4. Touch Something in the Environment
When we are lost in an improv scene, this is a variation of being in our head, so one way to get out of it is to go to the environment. Grab a broom and start sweeping, open a cabinet, grab a wine glass and star sipping Merlot. It may give you an attitude you can play with or you it may think you are in an art gallery with all these painting hanging up, which can lead you to a relationship. I like to smoke cigarettes. It gives me a character and sometimes a place.

5. Choose to Follow
I say this all the time to my students who are either going too fast, trying too hard or finding themselves blanking out on stage. Follow what your partner is doing. If they are making the bed, you will make the bed with them. If they play a cop, you will also play a cop. If they write up a ticket, then you will write up a ticket. In these scenes, something will happen. Your partner will have a strong emotional reaction to what you are doing or it made lead to a high-status, low-status game.

What tricks have you used when you are lost out at sea to find your way back to land? Please share with us some things that have worked for you when you are blanking out in a scene.

Have time off between Christmas and New Year's? Come spend it with Jimmy! Sign up for his Two-Person Scene Tune-Up, happening Dec. 30.

Nick Johne is from Canada where he performed with Second City Toronto. He is one of Chicago's most respected teachers, working with improvisers and actors and teaching improv to people on the Autism spectrum. We talk to Nick about why that brings him so much joy, the difference between Canadian and American improvising and how he creates characters.

Some people think that all it takes to put together a great improv group is picking the right people. Though that it is important, I would argue what is equally important is bonding as group. I have found the formula is pretty simple: Time + play = bonding as a group.

I have found as a teacher, director and performer there are no short cuts to bonding as a group. The process is like aging a fine wine; it cannot be rushed, even if you are playing with a bunch of seasoned improv veterans.

I have been thrown on improv all-star teams and even though we had great people on them, we didn’t take the time to rehearse, so our play time was our shows, and we never fully bonded or lived up to our team's potential.

On the other hand, I was on two other improv all-star improv teams at iO Chicago -- Carl and The Passion and PENT -- where both teams made it a point to rehearse, even though everyone on the team was very experienced. Sometimes the rehearsals were as fun as the shows, a sign we are both playing and bonding.

Unfortunately, today most improvisers don't spend enough time rehearsing, and when they do, they don't emphasize the necessary element of play.

I am re-learning this lesson again from my 15-month-old daughter. Lately, I have been spending a lot more time with her, and lucky for her, at her age it’s all mostly play. I have noticed that as a father, I have a much stronger connection when I take the time to play with her instead of just running around doing errands. Before, she only wanted to be picked up by her mom, but now that we’ve spent more time playing together, she wants to be picked up by me. When I am away from her for extended periods of time I miss her and I am happy to see her, and she’s happy to see me.

This is because I have spent more time with her playing, and we feel more connected.

The same came be said for improv groups. Taking the time to play, especially warm-up games, is something some people don't see much value in. They want to get right to doing scenes or forms or working on the show.

You can also play with your team members outside of rehearsals as well. When I played with Carl in the Passions, sometimes instead of rehearsing we would all go bowling. When I was on Jazz Freddy we would rehearse in a park district building, so we’d often find ourselves playing basketball for part of our rehearsals. This really helped our chemistry as a group.

Taking the time to bond can be as easy as getting together your team and playing a board games or all going out to a party and doing bits. These things are easy and fun ways to bond and, believe me, translate on stage. Taking the time to play and bond is never wasted, and unless you are literally getting wasted, which I don't recommend, it’s the one thing that separates the good teams from the great ones. Here's hoping you get to be one of the great ones.

Tell us some ways you have bonded as a group. We’d love to hear from you!

Are you in an improv slump? Get inspired again in Jimmy's Two-Person Scene Tune-Up workshop, happening Oct. 28. Only $79 if you sign up by Oct. 15!

Recently Saturday Night Live hired two very talented, hard-working and funny cast members from Chicago: Chris Redd and Luke Null.

When Chris Redd got hired, he had moved to LA and was getting parts in movies and TV shows and had even done his own stand-up special, so he was already getting noticed. But Luke had more of a Cinderella story: He got hired from a showcase at iO Chicago.

Although many people in the Chicago improv community are happy for both Chris and Luke, when something like this happens, it also tends to cause people to feel sad and depressed and wonder if they should just give up on improv altogether.

For those of you in the Chicago improv community who also auditioned for SNL in that same showcase, or those who simply knew Chris or Luke from around town, I want to let you know that just because you didn’t get the gig doesn’t mean you don’t have talent. It maybe be cliche, but everyone has a different path.

This is a concept that has taken me decades to understand. For 25 years I would be jealous whenever one of my friends got big-time success, or really any kind of success. It would make me question my own career path. I would ask myself: "What's next for me? Where's mine? What am I doing wrong?"

If you've been doing the same thing lately, I have something important to tell you: You have done nothing wrong. Just because someone else succeeded doesn't mean you won't.

You are wonderful, and special and unique. Honor that like you would your choices on stage and listen up: Your career path will not look like someone else's. The hardest lesson to learn is to stay in your own lane in the pool. We think that we "should" want what other people in our improv community want, or we should get what other people get, and if we don't there is something wrong with us.

There is nothing wrong with you.

Following other people dreams for me has always ended in a nightmare because I never got to find out what I really wanted. There was a long list of things I was "supposed" to want because that is what my friends wanted. Then when my friends got a writing gig on a network late night talk show or big role in a movie, I felt despair. “What am I doing with my life?” I’d moan.

This was crazy. I was crazy. The only thing that really worked for me was when I did the next right thing. The thing that was right in front of me. And those have been the times in my life where I have been the most creative and felt a sense of purpose. For me, it has been these times of despair and self-doubt that have lead me to write another one-man show, or write a book or create a podcast.

If you truly believe you are an artist like I do, these times of self-doubt are golden opportunities that can help your art and your vision for yourself evolve into something new.

These times of questioning are important times of growth. It’s like in adolescence when your voice changes. It sounds awkward at first, but eventually it gets richer and deeper. Asking yourself “What is next for me?” is both a scary and exciting place to be for an artist, but the change will be good.

And that is where I am today. I really don't know what is next for me. I am afraid that being married with a baby at 53 is different than when I as 27 and living at home and selling office supplies. Back then, I turned my experience into a hit show, but now I wonder, what am I meant to do next?

At least today I know that all I need to do is stay in my own lane, because if I don't I will drown to death. I just have to trust and do the next thing right in front of me. And I can truly be happy for other people’s success because I know I am on my own path.

Are you an experienced improviser looking for a new approach? Check out Jimmy's Art of Slow Comedy Level 3 class, starting Oct. 25, which ends with a performance for family and friends. Early bird special ends Oct. 14!

The irony is not lost on me that I am an improv teacher, which is about teaching people how to play and have fun, which is what I have the hardest time doing in my own life. (This is a classic case where the teacher teaches what he most needs to learn himself).

Since I was a little kid I have never experienced much joy. My mom would keep reminding me, "You were such a happy baby. What happened to you?”

Even the things that are supposed to bring most people joy, like going on vacation, don't make me happy. I don't really start enjoying myself on vacation until the last day when I know I am going home.

I had pretty much given up the idea of every feeling any sort of happiness in my life when someone in my group therapy was like, "You know, if you and Lauren have a baby, it will bring a lot more joy into your life."

The idea of being a dad didn’t interest me that much, but I was interested in finding more joy.

So on July 2, 2016, we had Betsy, and I thought it was going to be an immediate joy-fest, but it wasn’t. In fact, the first three months were hell, and the months after that were sort of like purgatory.

When people would say, "How is Betsy?” or “How do you like being a dad?,” I had a stock answer: "It's hard and I am tired."

Then one day recently, I was taking care of Betsy, and we were in the living room rolling the green rubber ball on the brown coffee table. She was laughing and having a good time hiding the ball under the table and shrugging her shoulders like, "I don't know where it went?"

My wife, Lauren, comes downstairs and she looks at both of us playing on the floor. And she says: "She brings you joy."

"What are you talking about?" I say.

"Betsy. She brings you joy. I can see it on your face,” Lauren says, like she caught me in lie. “This whole ‘It's hard-d-d, I am tired-d-d.’ (Lauren’s imitation of me). It's your schtick. You tell people you are miserable, but you aren’t. You really enjoy her."

I hated hearing that because it was true. My wife left out another part, and that is that sometimes when I am enjoying myself I don't even know it until someone like her points it out to me.

It's like when I’m at party and someone throws out the idea of playing a board game, and I say, "No, I hate board games." Then I force myself to play Scrabble and when it’s over, I am like, “That was fun. Really fun, like, I am surprised.” Like a child might say.

Before having a child of my own, I wouldn't say I hated kids, but it was close. I would say I tolerated them, which is pretty much how I feel about myself. Now, when I hear a screaming kid in a restaurant it reminds me of Betsy. I love watching her get excited on Thursday mornings when the garbage truck pulls into the alley and she starts to point and scream with excitement. She sits on my lap riveted until it picks up everyone’s garbage and then she waves goodbye to the truck like she’s the Pope with one stiff hand as it leaves. We repeat the whole cycle again the next morning with the recycling truck.

And I love at night when I’m holding her in my arms and rocking her thinking, “How safe and secure you must feel right now,” as she closes her tiny little eyes and goes to sleep.

In these moments I feel pure joy, and I feel happy and sad that this will not last, that she will outgrow these simple things, that there will be a time when she will not fit in my arms or like playing with the empty La Criox can for half an hour.

Since having a kid the world seems a lot more scary to me, but it also seems a lot more fun and I have a lot more gratitude.

When Lauren was pregnant with Betsy, some people loved to give me unsolicited advice. The one thing that they would say was, "You are going to learn more from them than they will from you." And even though I did not like to hear it at the time, they were right.

And yes, it is hard, and yes, I am still tired, but Betsy has given me permission to have more joy in my life, which can only make me a better person, father and improv teacher.

Looking to make your scenes more memorable? Sign up for Jimmy's Two-Person Scene Tune-Up on Oct. 28. Only $79 if you sign up by Oct. 15. Sign up today!

Bill Chott is an incredible improv teacher in Los Angeles who does long form, short form and musical improv, and also acts in TV and films and even does magic. We talk to him about why he puts so much importance on space and object work, how short form can help with long form, and the pluses and minuses of getting your big break at a young age.

Why is it that when I’m sick I have good shows?

I remember years ago when I was at the Annoyance Theater, Mick Napier made a comment that some of his best shows where when he was sick. I thought he was a little crazy for saying that, but over the years I’ve found it to be true.

I am huge advocate of taking care of yourself and not getting your fellow cast members sick, and I am not endorsing playing sick if you don't have to, but sometimes you don't have a choice.

A couple of weeks ago I caught a bad cold that first knocked me out and then knocked out Lauren and Betsy, too. It was like dominoes in my house. I started to get a sore throat at beginning of the week with a slight fever. I thought I would be over it by Sunday in time for my Jimmy and Johnnie show, but I was not. I ended up sleeping all day Sunday and crawled out of bed just in time to have dinner and then drive down to Second City in time for the show.

The show was great. It didn’t hurt that I was playing with two amazingly talented improvisers, John Hildreth and Bob Fisher, and that we played to a packed house.

I cannot explain this, but for some reason, my choices were bolder and more confident than usual, I was not as self-conscious or second guessing myself, and the best part was when it was over I didn’t ruminate about the show or beat myself up. I just wanted to go home and get back into bed.

When you improvise when you’re sick, you feel like just showing up and doing the damn show is quite an accomplishment.

My guess is that I am not alone with this phenomenon, that there are others out there who have had similar experiences. I have some theories about why you do better improvising when you’re sick -- like it helps you focus, or that it blocks the part of your brain that is self-critical. But of course I have nothing to back them up.

I have been pondering this all week and thought you might help me. If you ever improvised when you were sick, do you have an idea about why your shows seem to go better? If so, please leave them in the comment portion below. I would love your thoughts.

Looking to improve your two-person scenes? Don't miss Jimmy's Two-Person Scene Tune Up on Oct. 28. Only $79 if you register by Oct. 14. Sign up today!

Dee Ryan was a member of The Second City Etc., where she did three revues back in the late '90s. In LA, she performed with the amazing group Stacey's Not Here and the award-winning The All Girl Revue. She currently teaches long form to film students at Northwestern. We talked to her about how having brothers prepared her for a life in improv, how she over came working with difficult people and how she approaches characters.