With the holidays upon on us — boy, did they come on fast! — I wanted to give you a list of some books I highly recommend to add to your gift-giving or gift-getting list this year. Since I covered some comedy books in the summer, this time I wanted to branch out to some other types of books I think you might also be interested in. This list has a little something for everyone:

1. The Buddha At My Table: How I Found Peace in Betrayal and Divorce
   By Tammy LethererThis year's list starts with two of my friend’s memoirs. In this book, Tammy Letherer takes us on the painful and brutally honest journey of her divorce. Her book begins with a huge bang: After 12 years of marriage and three kids, her husband sits her down, just before Christmas, takes out a list on a piece of paper, and reads off some of the things he's been withholding from her, shaking her world and shattering their marriage.Tammy is left picking up the pieces, and her story details how she puts herself back together again. Yes, it's painful at times because she pours her heart and soul into every page, but it’s also an engrossing pager turner that never lets up from the first chapter. With all the shit that happens to her, I kept thinking, “She's not going to make it.” This is a sign of great writer, to have you feel what she must have been feeling when she was dealt a devastating blow. I love how willing she is to share with us how messy life can be, and her hopeful tale of being able to endure in the end.
2. Group: How One Therapist and a Circle of Strangers Saved My Life
   By Christie TateChristie Tate is a New York Times Best Selling author who is a triple threat as a writer — funny, candid and able to craft an excellent narrative. The book begins when Christie is a 29-year-old, self-hating law student who is recovering from eating disorder and desperately wanting to be in a relationship. She then finds the unconventional Dr. Rosen and enters group therapy, where she learns to be honest, ask for help and rely on her group members for the support she didn't realize she needed.The book is described as a memoir, but I found it to be much more. For one thing, it's written like a novel that is part love story and part an inside look at what goes on in group therapy. I admire that Tate isn't afraid to admit her craziness and is willing to talk openly about sex. Her book is brave and raw, and I think it will help a lot of people because she writes in such a relatable way.

   In full disclosure, I, too, have been seeing the “Dr. Rosen” from the book for 16 years, and it’s good to see that Christie has captured some of his wisdom and principals in her book. This book really shows that group therapy with a competent therapist can make a difference in one's life.

3. Keep Going: 10 Ways to Stay Creative in Good Times and Bad
   By Austin KleonIf you are an artist of any kind, you probably want to quit at least hundred times. I know I have. We constantly need encouragement and inspiration, and that’s why I highly recommend Keep Going.Austin Kleon is the New York Times Best Selling author of Steal Like An Artist, and Show Your Work!, and what I love about his books is that he doesn't ever over-complicate things. He simply makes his points, gives us examples from his life and from other artists, and then moves on. The art direction of his books are so fun and creative, too, that they’ll actually make you a little jealous, and they are always chock-filled with uplifting quotes from other artists.

   What I loved about this book in particular was how surprised I felt when I was finished reading it. I was energized about my art and felt like I had cheated since it was such a quick read. But just remember, when it comes to books, size doesn't matter.

4. Happy Money: The Japanese Art of Making Peace With Your Money
   By Ken HondaI could not pass this book up. When you combine two of my favorite subjects — happiness and money — and on top of it the author is described as "Japan's Bestselling Millionaire," in my mind, you have a winner. And this book did not disappoint.Honda's premise is simple: How you spend your money can get you more happiness. For instance, he says spending money on experiences, like a ski trip to Colorado, is going to bring you more happiness than buying a new Lexus. He understands that we do need to make certain purchases to function in our everyday lives, but his point is that we should be aware that spending our money on experiences is where joy lives.

   He also stresses that giving your money away in some instances can bring you more happiness than buying stuff for yourself. What I love is that he is not pulling this theory out of his ass (after all, he is Japan’s Best Selling Millionaire). He actually has data and research to back this up the points he makes in the book.

 

Give yourself the gift of improv this year! Sign up for Jimmy's Online Weekend Intensive Jan. 9-10 to start 2021 off right. Sign up by Dec. 26 to save!

The greatest gift you can give this holiday season is something you give to yourself, and to others — and that is the gift of self-expression.

That is what we do in the arts.

I don’t care if you work a 9-to-5 job and you write your novel at night. I don’t care if you are in your 70s  when you take your first improv class. (Some of my best students have come

to improv late in life). I don't care if you make a dime at it or not.

The greatest gift you can give to yourself, me, and anyone else is to express yourself on a regular basis.

The hardest part is thinking we deserve it. Since we have such a good imaginations, we can come up with really great excuses for why we aren’t expressing ourselves.
“I don't have the time.”
“It’s selfish of me.”

Or my favorite: “It’s a luxury.” No, giving yourself the time and space to express yourself is not a luxury. For artists, it’s a necessity, like brushing your teeth.

Self-care has become a big buzz word today. Everyone talks about it. But self-care is about more than going for a walk in nature, taking a bubble bath or getting a message. It’s about carving out the time to express yourself.

Maybe you’ve been thinking about taking that acting class, or doing an open mic night, or playing the piano more. You may have to try several different art forms before you land on the one that works for you. You don’t have to know exactly which type of art is going to fit you best until you try it.

You don’t have to change the world with your art. Not only is that grandiose, it’s one the biggest excuses people use so they don’t even begin. All we need is for you to take time to express yourself, in whatever way works for you.

I try to crank one of these blogs out each week, and today, I do it for me, which is much different than when I first started. I do it because it’s important for me to put a piece of myself out there, to try to tell my truth at this particular moment, with the understanding that my truth can change and often as I do.

When I finish a blog and hit publish and send it out to the world, sometimes people will heap praise on me that I have hard time taking in, and sometimes I get criticism that I have no problem taking in. Not everyone is going to like you, and not everyone is going to agree with you. Yes, full disclosure, that is the risk.

But there is a greater risk in not expressing yourself. Keeping your nose to the grindstone and bottling up your thoughts and feelings does damage to your soul.

With 2020 almost over, I would like to see 2021 be the year that you are more generous to yourself, and I can't think of a better way to do that than taking the time to express your art in whatever form speaks to you, because you deserve it.

Chicago has a great history of rebuilding itself, going back to The Great Chicago Fire of 1871, which destroyed 17,450 buildings in a three-mile radius. Out of the ashes, the city came up with a new vision for itself and new style of architecture. It was a Renaissance.

I’m hoping the same will be true after this pandemic.

Yes, we are still in uncertain times, but some day the pandemic will end and we will go back to our normal life, including going out to see improv shows and take classes in person. What it will look like, though, is anyone’s guess. We seem to have more questions than answers. And the one question I think about all the time is when this is all over, will Chicago still be the mecca of improv?

I am sad to say when things get back to normal, probably not.   

Even Before Covid

Chicago’s reign as the improv mecca had been waning, even before Covid came along. In the last two decades, Chicago was not only competing with other strong improv training centers and theaters in New York and Los Angeles, but also in smaller cities, which meant that people didn’t have to move to Chicago anymore to learn Chicago-style improv.

Since the pandemic, major cities have seen record numbers of people leave. People will eventually return to city life, but that won't be for a while. And when they do, I think Chicago will be at a disadvantage. In New York and L.A., there is more work for actors and writers in TV and film, which are jobs that pay.

If Chicago had a national TV sketch show and a couple of late-night talk shows, that would help sustain our improv community, but we don't, and for most improvisers in Chicago, there has been a glass ceiling on what they can earn here. That why so many improvisers only stay here a few years and to go to New York or L.A.. If actors are going to live in a city after the pandemic, I see people cutting out the middle step and going directly to either coast.

The Three-Legged Stool

For the longest time, Chicago was a three-legged stool for improv training with Second City, iO-Chicago and The Annoyance. This meant there was lots of accessible stage time and that made Chicago destination for improvisers.

But when Charna Halpern closed the iO last summer, that was a big blow to the city in terms of attracting improvisers from across the country to move here.

What made the Chicago improv community so unique was that all the improv theaters pretty much got along, and cross pollination was widely accepted. Sure, there were egos, but for the most part you could work at multiple theaters and no one gave a shit.

Will Improv Continue on Zoom?

Even before Covid, the improv bubble had burst in Chicago. With fewer and fewer people moving to Chicago to study improv, it was becoming harder for training centers to fill their classes. My friends who teach at the other institutions said enrollment had been down, and I felt it, too, in my classes and workshops.

However, the pandemic ended up bringing a silver lining to the Chicago improv community – Zoom. Once the Chicago institutions starting offering classes on Zoom, people could learn from all of our amazing teachers without having to move here.

When the pandemic is over, people will slowly start to head back to in-person improv classes, but I think online classes will continue to be popular, and though it good for teachers like myself, it will put a dent in the number of aspiring improvisers making the trek to Chicago.

So where does that leave us? 

Will Chicago’s improv community survive this pandemic? Yes, and I think we’ll actually find a way to thrive, just like we did after the fire.

Sure, our pride is hurt, but we still have the some of the most talented and passionate improvisers and teachers in the world.

Improv in this city has been stagnant for a long time. More stage time did not equal better improv shows. Some theaters ran out of things to say or forgot why they were doing it in the first place.

When we get back to normal, we will not have that luxury, and we will be better for it. The improv community will be smaller, but the improvisers will be able to make a bigger impact. This will be a great opportunity for us to take more risks and make something memorable.

We can look at this as exciting time. I time to reinvent ourselves and our city.

I saw this once before, in the late ’80s. Back when, there was just Second City and ImprovOlympic. There was a void, and out of it improvisers created. They created brilliant shows  out of necessity.  The Annoyance came out of that void. Jazz Freddy, Cardiff Giant, Ed, The Factory, Lookinglass Theatre, and Bang Bang Spontaneous Theatre all came out of that void. Look them up.

Those groups rose to occasion and we where all better for it. We did it before we will do it again. Chicago is ready for a new improv Renaissance. Bring it on. All we are waiting for is a vaccine.

In baseball, the most elite athletes are called “5 Tool Players.” These all-stars specialize in five different categories: hitting for average, hitting for power, running the bases, fielding, and throwing. Because improvisers and professional athletes are so often compared (due to our similar income levels), I thought it’d be interesting to see what traits would make a “5-Tool Improviser.”

Here are the best traits you need to be a great all-around improviser:

1. Hitting For Average -- Scene Work
   It doesn’t matter what position you play, you will always have a job as long as you can maintain a high batting average. The same goes for your ability to perform scene work. If you have the ability to step into a two-person scene and execute grounded, patient play, you will always be able to find yourself a team or a slot to perform. It’s the foundation of all improvisation.
2. Hitting For Power -- Characters
   Barry Bonds, Hank Aaron, Willie Mays… all were players who could change an entire game with a single swing any time they stepped into the batter’s box. If you want to be a power hitter in improv, you’ve got to be able to come up with iconic, three-dimensional characters. Improvisers who can create memorable characters can dramatically shift the energy of a show and have a lasting impact on an audience for years. As The Second City’s Michael Gelman used to say, when an audience leaves a show, they won’t remember the exact plot of what was happening in each scene, but they will remember the characters that made them laugh.
3. Baserunning -- Musical Ability
   Good base runners are electric athletes who specialize in scoring runs. Likewise, brilliant vocalists are electric improvisers who specialize in scoring points with your audience. Nothing lights up a crowd more than when the keys start playing, and someone confidently steps down stage and belts out an impressive tune. You can improve your mechanics to sing better, but you can’t teach raw vocal ability, just like you can’t teach speed. And just like it’s fun to watch someone sprint, boy, is it fun to watch someone sing.
4. Fielding -- Willingness to play for the audience, not yourself
   Snagging flies, fielding grounders, running down a pickle… yeoman’s work. Fielding is rarely sexy, and for improvisers, putting the audience’s pleasure above your own isn’t either. Some improvisers do too many bits on stage that are inside jokes with their friends, or they make references to things only improvisers will understand that goes over the audience’s heads. As satisfying as it is to stroke our own egos, we have to remember the only people we should perform for is the audience. Without them, we’re just doing rehearsal. Grab your glove, get down in the dirt, and make them laugh.
5. Throwing – Listening
   Having a strong and accurate throwing arm helps you prevent problems or stop them from getting worse. This arm prevents doubles from turning into triples. It stops runners from stealing second. It guns down someone at home plate from deep right field. Being able to throw is a basic skill that we often take for granted, but it’s essential in being a great player. The same is true for listening in improv. Hanging onto every word and making direct eye contact with your scene partners will not necessarily win you any big laughs on its own, but it will prevent you from losing track of the scene and allow you to make stronger, more authentic discoveries alongside your audience.

 

Sam Bowers was the director of Improv Nerd with Jimmy Carrane for five years. He has toured nationally with ComedySportz, created The Second City’s “24 Hour Sketch Comedy Competition,” and is a member of the iO Cagematch’s “Greatest Team Of All Time,” LL Cool Beans. Sam lives in New York where he’s the producer for Doctor Mike. Follow him @SamDonaldBowers.

This month it's been nine years since I started writing this blog.

It was not my idea. It was Lauren's. She thought it would help with marketing my improv classes and workshops.

Like most of the good ideas I get from Lauren, or anyone else, my first reaction was to resist.

So the first blog I wrote was titled “Expressing Your Feelings.” It was short and I poured over it for hours, because I am a perfectionist and I was not confident in my take on improv, let alone life.

It was clear I did not know what I was doing. I had no expectations.

My first blog had some style to it, but I had not found my voice yet. The thing about finding your voice is that you usually find your voice, then lose it again, and then when you find it again it’s usually changed.

The first three years my writing was unsure, self-deprecating, filled with shame and self-pity and not wanting to offend. I was terrified of pissing anyone off. I wanted to be liked — I still do. And when I did offend people, I was always surprised.

I remember one piece in particular that got a lot of attention and criticism on social media and how hurt and afraid I felt. My friends told me it was sign I was getting bigger, but I felt I was being attacked. I felt sorry for myself and wanted to hide, which I am really good at. It is hard to write a personal blog and not take things so personally.

Today, I write with a little more authority and a lot more gratitude. I am less of a perfectionist, so for the most part it takes me less time to whip one of these up.

My writing has changed because my life has. My early blogs were focused on my obsession with becoming famous, jealousy and shame. Those things are still there, but not as intense, and I have family that fulfills me. I am in a committed relationship with a loving and supportive partner in Lauren, we have a beautiful four-year-old daughter and Coco, our cat, who needs more and more attention as she gets older.

I am grateful, a word that I starting using in blogs in the last couple years, that I have this outlet to share my milestones with you, like marrying Lauren, my father dying, and the birth of my daughter, Betsy.

Getting to express myself has helped get through the bad times as well as the good times, because those are harder for me to enjoy.

Some of you have been moved by my blogs and have written very kind and thoughtful comments to me about my writing that have left me a little overwhelmed at times, and I wish I was better at writing back.

I am proud that I have written this blog this long, and believe me, if it was my idea, I would have stopped after the first one. I want to thank Lauren, all the people who have written guest blogs over the years, and you for reading it. It's nice to have fans. And I hope I keep going.

Are you a storyteller who wants to get more laughs? Sign up now for Jimmy's Finding the Funny In Your Story online storytelling workshop on Nov. 21. Only 2 spots left!!

This year, my 4-year-old daughter, Betsy, was really into going trick or treating. She was out of her mind excited about it. Me, not so much. I was just the parent taking her.

When she woke up on Halloween morning at 7:14 a.m. the first thing out of her mouth was "When is it going to be 4 o'clock?" That was the time we told her we were going to take her.

She was going as Elsa from the popular movie Frozen. I was going as a Christmas tree from the popular holiday.

Lauren and I had come up with my last-minute costume idea the night before. At the time it seemed cool.

One of my super powers is limiting anything that has the possibility of fun. And since I was already dreading taking her out, I said, "Betsy we are only going to go to ten houses. That is it."

Betsy is a determined little kid and who doesn't fully understand counting yet. So, me putting a cap on the number of houses had no effect on her joy.

Throughout the day she kept asking me and Lauren, "How much longer?" And as the responsible parents that we are, we had to keep her talking her out of putting on her Elsa costume on too early.

The weather on Halloween in Chicago is usually cold, windy and mixed with rain and snow, if you are lucky. This year was different. It was mild, sunny and in the 50s.

Still, right before we went out, Lauren and I had to give Betsy some bad news: "You have to put your coat on over your costume."

But Betsy took it surprisingly well as we reassured her she could keep it coat open, and people would still see her Elsa dress. Not to mention she was wearing Elsa shoes, an Elsa mask and carrying an Elsa trick-or-treat bag, so if people did not get what she was, it wouldn't be on her.

I turned into the Grinch, and really did not want to wear my Christmas tree costume. I was tired and didn't make the effort. But Betsy was so insistent that I wear my Christmas tree costume, and I did not want to disappoint her, so I  let Lauren safety pin a large piece of green felt to my hoody.

So, at 4:03 p.m., an odd-shaped Christmas tree and Elsa and headed out and walked toward Judson Avenue, a tree-lined street with historic homes a couple blocks from our house. The weather was even warmer than the temperature on my phone, and I ended up carrying Betsy's coat the whole time.

As we started out, I repeated "Only ten houses."

Then we turned the corner onto Judson, and hit out first house. An elderly, South Evanston couple was sitting on their porch. They both seemed like retired Northwestern professors who had bought their house in the 1980s when you could still buy a house in this neighborhood on two teachers’ salaries. The woman was holding a very long, plastic PVC tube held together with too much neon orange duct tape that they used to shoot the candy down to us. I commented, "This is a good idea!" thinking, “How did they come up with such great idea?” She told me they got the pipe from Home Depot.

I was a little surprised that Grandma and Grandpa Evanston would shop at a corporate big box store.

I didn’t realize until a few houses later that they were not the only ones to come up with this PVC-candy-tubing-thing. Lauren told me later it was an idea that had become such an internet sensation that the City of Evanston as well as other places around the country made this one of the recommended ways to safely dispense candy this year.

Lauren had warned me that Judson can get packed with kids during Trick or Treating. Since I am one of the few people in the neighborhood who takes social distancing seriously, I made it my mission to avoid the other Trick or Treaters and their parents.

So, after Grandma and Grandpa Evanston shot three Fun Size Snickers Bars down their plastic tube, Betsy and I crossed the street the street to avoid a 6-year-old girl dressed as the Chuckie doll from those scary slasher movies. (Are kids that young into slasher movies?)

The next house was an old gray Victorian a with big porch where a short, bald man with no personality had just finished setting out 14 brown paper lunch bags filled with candy on two cardboard Amazon boxes. As he headed back into his house, he flatly said, "Take one."

Betsy studied them all carefully and picked one and to put in her bag. I waited a couple of seconds until the short, bald man with no personality’s back was turned, and then shoved a brown paper lunch sack in my Halloween bag, like I was shoplifting.

When we were done, Chuckie and her parents were closing in, so I hustled Betsy to the next house, but instead she stopped dead in the middle of the sidewalk  and squealed with excitement as she saw to two young brothers, dressed in these inflatable dinosaur costumes coming from the house we were about to go to up too.

"Look at the Dinosaur!" she screamed, as if she had just seen a Disney princess in person. My first thought: "Those costumes had to cost a fortune," was followed by second one: "we got to kept moving."

The thing is you can't deny a child's excitement. Even though sometimes you can't get excited yourself, you can get excited watching them get excited. It's like a contact high.

And then something hit me:  She is not going to be excited like this forever. One day she will outgrow Halloween. She will no longer care if I wear a costume or not. She will no longer make sure I take candy for my bag, too. She will no longer believe in Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny.

Parents tell me this time is special and it will go fast. And it’s true. It's not the big event in child's life, it the small moments and if you don't pay attention you will miss them. This was one of those moments.  So, at that point I stop counting houses.

I started appreciating the unseasonably warm weather.

The kindness of my neighbors during a pandemic.

The joy took over and we went to house after house after house, until Betsy's bag was so filled with candy that it became too heavy for her to carry.

I didn't want to stop, but her little arms and tiny legs where getting tired. She was done. We went home and sat on the rug in the living room and sorted our candy together. She had a mountain of candy, $40 worth. She kept repeating, "I did pretty well." And then she would look at my sad little pile. “You did pretty well, too, Daddy.” "We both did pretty well."

When I was a kid, joy was not something that could be trusted. It always ended badly. Whenever I got excited about something, it was always followed by, "What are you so happy about?"

So, I developed a great survival technique to preempt joy at all costs.

That’s one of the reasons I wanted to become a parent in the first place, so I could stop being such a buzz kill and instead have more joy in my life. And this Halloween, I did.

Are you a storyteller who wants to get more laughs? Sign up for Jimmy's Finding the Funny in Your Story online storytelling workshop on Nov. 21! Only 3 spots left!

When I tell a story on stage, I want to get laughs. I know not all storytellers work like this, but if you do and you are looking to punch up your story to squeeze in some more laughs, I have some quick tips that may help you make your story funnier.

Storytelling is not stand-up -- the story comes first -- but that does not mean that you can’t have jokes baked into your stories that will make people laugh.

Here are some easy tips that you can do in 20 minutes or less. So, get out your story and begin making notes. Remember, these are spices you are adding to your piece.  You cannot make whole meal of these tips, so, like turmeric, use sparingly.

1. Give a character in your story a specific description that your audience can recognize
   In my one-person show, “World's Greatest Dad(?),” I describe the priest who was presiding over my dad's funeral: He was big, tall with doughy hands and a puffy face and this giant green robe. He looked like a Muppet.” When I call this character back I refer to him as "Father Muppet" and it gets a huge laugh. Sometimes it does not need to be as complicated as my example. For example, if you’re describing someone who waited on you at the DVM, you could say, "The guy at the counter looked like Bernie Sanders’ older brother."
2. Be specific
   Sometimes the fast way to punch up your piece is to be more specific. So take a few minutes to look over your story and see where you are being too vague. For example, saying, “I drove my car to the prom,” is ok, but what is more interesting is, “I drove my mom’s Chrysler minivan to the prom.”Depending on your comedy chops, you can even be a little over descriptive. For example, instead of saying, “I ate a bowl of cereal,” you could say, “I ate a whole stale box of Lucky Charms and the marshmallows were as hard as rocks, so it wasn't magically delicious.”
3. Use metaphors
   Depending on the length of your piece, sometimes you just need to find one or two places to add some more humor. One simple device is add comedy is to compare two concepts. For example, in my first one-man show, “I’m 27 and I Still Live At Home and Sell Office Supplies,” I said: “The whole point of the Santa Claus suit was to retain heat. It was like what tin foil is the baked potato.”
4. Revel a truth about yourself
   Revealing a truth about yourself that is specific to you and your life is always a great way to make people laugh. Here are some I have used over the years in different performances:

• “I grew up Catholic, though everyone thinks I’m Jewish.”
• I don't like Christmas, because I don't like to give.
• Like my Facebook page. It really helps with my low self-esteem.
• I hang out with people who are more fucked up than me, because it makes me feel better about myself.Yes, they are structured as a joke, but they are rooted in truths about myself and reflect my storytelling persona.

5. Add an Inner Dialogue or an Aside
   One of the easiest thing to do to make your piece funnier, especially if something weird happens to you or someone says something strange in the story, is to add an aside or some inner dialogue. In “World’s Greatest Dad(?),” when my dad is dying and I ask him how I can help prepare for his death, he says, “I want you to speak at my funeral and I want you to make people laugh.” Then I go into an interior monologue: “I wanted to say, ‘Dad I have agent for that.’ But instead, I said, ‘I would be honored.’” By adding a little aside, I’m able to squeeze in a little laugh in a very dark section of the story, which breaks things up a bit. In fact, when done right, serious moments that are filled with tension can be a great place for a laugh.

Want to get more specific advice on how to make your story funnier? Don't miss Jimmy's Finding the Funny in Your Story online storytelling workshop! Sign up by Nov. 7 to save!

"Perfect is the enemy of good." — Voltaire

For most artists, creating is the fun part. The problem comes when they want to get their work out in the world. They have been bitching and moaning that they're nobody recognize their art for years, but when they have the chance to put themselves out there, they fold. They hide under the covers, they don't return e-mails or phone calls. Since they are clever people, they come up with clever excuses like, “I am not ready," "People are born with talent, and I don't have it," or "I am going to make a fool myself." These are lies, and not even original ones at that and they're coming directly from Perfectionism, which, as we all know, is a big fat liar.

Let’s address these lies one at a time:

1. “I am not ready”
   I have said this my whole career, especially when faced with a new opportunity. And guess what? When I have pushed myself to do the thing I am terrified of doing, 85% of the time I am pretty good at the thing I thought I wasn't ready for, and when it is over, I can't tell you how proud I feel that I followed the fear did it anyway.
2. “People are born with talent, and I don't have it”
   Everyone's talent has to be developed. I started out in the Chicago comedy scene back in the ’90s and I saw a lot of people make it big. The people who made it certainly had talent, but they didn’t just have talent. They keep pushing themselves out of their comfort zone. Stephen Colbert was one of those people who was at Second City around the time I was at iO. And Colbert said he learned a very important lesson from his director, Jeff Michelski: “You have to learn to ‘love the bomb.’ It took me a long time to really understand what that meant. It wasn’t, ‘Don’t worry, you’ll get it next time.’ It wasn’t, ‘Laugh it off.’ No, it means what it says. You gotta learn to love when you’re failing…"  Though Colbert was talented, he realized he still had ways to go in developing it.
3. "I am going to make fool of myself”
   What does that really mean? Are you going to feel silly or feel embarrassed by putting yourself out there? The answer is yes. But really, this feeling is all in your head, because people really aren't thinking about you as much you think. When I started out in improv, I really sucked at it. For years I sucked at it. When my friends and family would come to my awful shows, and they were awful, in the back of a seedy bar, they never criticized me. Actually, it was the opposite. They always admired me for doing it, even though I wasn't very good. Who feels silly now?

There is no such thing as perfect, ever.

I’m not saying cut corners and just throw some half-baked idea out there, but on the other hand, don’t wait until every fucking star aligns, you’re at your perfect weight, and both of your parents are dead to show your work to the public.

So many artists have dreams of making it big, but they wait and wait and wait so long to actually write that screenplay, finish that book, film that pilot, etc. that they never actually do it. And the reason they’re waiting to do it is because they want it to be perfect.

Some artists actually wear perfectionism like a badge of honor. They like to talk about what they are working on more than they like showing it to the world. That's fine, but I'm not sure this makes you an artist.

The reality is there is never a perfect time or a perfect theater or a perfect publisher... or a perfect agent. You get where I'm going with this? You will hate me for saying this, but I have performed thousands of scripted and improvised shows for more than 30 years and I have never, ever done a perfect performance. Why? Because like the Loch Ness Monster, it does not exists.

I have not written a blog, including this one, that I have not wanted to make changes to after it was published. I have never done an improv show that when it over and I didn't wish I had made different choices. I have not performed a story on stage that I didn't think could have gotten stronger laughs. I have done tons of incredible performances, gotten great reviews, standing ovations and performed to sold-out crowds, but even those shows had flaws. They were not perfect. This can either drive you crazy or keep you humble. Most of the time, it keeps me humble.

If you have been taking acting, improv, sketch, stand up, or storytelling classes for years, at some point you are going to need to get out there in front of an audience and risk the chance that you are not going to be perfect, and maybe even awful.

If you have been slaving away for decades writing a play, a book, or a film/TV script, at some point you are going to have show it to someone who actually could do something with it like produce it or publish it or at the very least represent you. And yes, when you show it to one of those people, you take the risk that you'll be flat-out rejected, but you also take the chance that they can help you get it out to the world.

And when you do get rejected or get horrible review or you bomb, and hopefully you will, Perfectionism will tell you this is the end of the line. Quit now. That is what Perfectionism wants. It would actually prefer that you don't even start in the first place, and it's pissed off that you've gotten this far. If this sounds painful, it is, and if you haven't experienced this, then you haven't put yourself out there. Perfect is not a goal; it's a suicide attempt. Aiming for "Just Good Enough" is realistic and practical, and speaking from experience, every time I put any of my art out in the world, even when it's just good enough, it always comes back a little closer to perfect.

Are you a storyteller who would like to get more laughs? Don't miss Jimmy's Finding the Funny in Your Story Online Storytelling Workshop on Nov. 21!

In our house we have a ritual. Almost every night after dinner, me, my wife, and my 4-year-old daughter, Betsy, all sit on the floor and play a board game. We play Candy Land, Hi-Ho! Cherry-O or other board games that are appropriate for a 4 year old.

It usually starts off pretty good, and then about half-way through Betsy wants to change some of the rules.

"Daddy, I want another turn."

"Mommy, I wanted the ice cream cone card."

"I want a redo."

"Betsy, these are the rules," Lauren will say.

Betsy may cry or dig in her heals and keep repeating, "I want the ice cream cone card," “I want the ice cream cone card,” until we either give in or appease her in some way so we can move on with the freaking game.

Just when we think we are back on track and she is on the verge of winning, she will say, "I don't want to win. I want Daddy to win." Which, as a parent, is very devastating to hear, and as a player it just sucks the fun out of it. I know some of you are saying, "Oh, that's so sweet! Your daughter wants you to win,'' but at this point, the game is ruined and we just want her to go upstairs and take a bath and put us all out of our misery.

I haven’t talked about this in therapy, but I can hear my crazy group therapist say: "Why are you holding on so tight to your agenda?"

"Are you fucking kidding me? When did wanting your someone to win at Candy Land become my agenda? The directions say the first person to reach King Kandy’s Castle wins. Do you want me to bring in the box?”

"Sounds like you have expectations."

"Yes, of course I do! Anyone who plays a board games has certain expectations – they’re called rules. The whole point of playing a board game is to win!”

"Hmm, but what about the games you teach in improv? Are the point of those games for someone to win?”

“No, the point is just for them to play and connect. Improv games help people stay out of their head and have fun, and by doing that they will get closer to each other just by playing the game.”

"Like what your daughter doing with you and your wife?

"Whatever...”

"And these games you teach in your improv classes… what would you tell your students if they start making up the rules like your daughter does during one of the games?”

“I'd say just go with it. It's a good thing. I tell them all the time that any instructions I give them for a game are just a starting off point, that the rules can transform during the game. The most important thing is to be in the moment.”

"Well, it sounds like your daughter is teaching you that. So, you have to ask yourself, do you want to be right or do you want to be in the moment?"

Apparently, I am not alone in need to learn this lesson. I see this in my classes and workshops all the time when students play improv games and exercises. The fear of doing it "right" takes over and limits their creativity. They are like a child wanting to please their parents and yet not knowing what they want.

Sticking to the rules and worrying about doing it "right" just hampers creativity. Creativity doesn't give shit about results; it is limitless.

Creativity doesn't judge if something is a good or bad idea -- it leaves that up to us. When we can let go rigidly following the rules, we can be more creative, and sometimes we end up with happy accidents.

The inventor of the Slinky set out to design a way to monitor power on navel boats. The inventor of Post It Notes was trying to make a strong adhesive. The inventor of chocolate chip cookies ran out of bakers chocolate while making chocolate cookies.

Yes, all of those people all started with a certain agenda in mind, but instead of following it, they went with the flow and came up with something even better. I just have to remember that when I want to be the first person to reach King Kandy's castle.

Are you a storyteller who wants to make your story funnier? Don't miss Jimmy's Finding the Funny in Your Story Online Storytelling Workshop on Nov. 10. Sign up now to save!

I can't think of a better sound than the word "Thank You." "Please" would be a close second.

They’re two words that I am realizing I don't use enough, as we are trying to teach my 4-year-old daughter manners.

As much as I had a complicated relationship with my parents, I think they did a good job of teaching me to be polite and I would like to pass that down to my kid.

Recently, Lauren and I have been discussing how to help Betsy say "thank you" when she gets a compliment or a gift, and lately she seemed to be getting plenty of both.

I’m really good about saying thank you to people when they give me a gift, but when they say something nice or give me a compliment, it's really hard for me to say it. I usually get uncomfortable with the positive attention and try to swat it away like a fly.

Sometimes I will respond with a self-deprecating remark that seems more like a put-down to myself, especially coming after such a juicy compliment.

I’ve been taught over the years that the best way to take a compliment is so say thank you and then shut the fuck up and feel the feelings that follow. The shame, the embarrassment.

I recently heard a very wise woman say that giving compliments is like giving someone a gift, and when we don’t accept the compliment graciously, we are not accepting their the gift. And when we respond from a place of low self-esteem, which is what that is, we are ripping the person off and not letting them experience the joy of giving the compliment.

I know it maybe surprise you, but I like to give, and the best part for me is the thank you. It feels like it comes full circle. And I know how I feel when I don't get a thank you. It's as if the gift has not been acknowledged. I know some spiritual people will say that giving is not about being thanked, but I am not there yet.

But there are other benefits of saying thank you, too, that I didn't even realize until I read Ken Honda’s book, Happy Money: The Japanese Art of Making Peace with Your Money.

In it, Honda says, “When we say ‘thank you’ we release powerful energy into the world. We are instantly present. We realize everything we have is enough. We are enough. We have all that we need. Knowing this and feeling this is the most powerful force in the universe. You can literally achieve anything when you ground yourself in appreciation and gratitude."

When I read this I was inspired to say thank you even more, because you know that I am all about the cash and prizes. Betsy is too young to understand this, but maybe I can start to teach her that saying thank you is not only nice buy it also makes you feel good, too. And if she can learn this, so can I.

Want to take your improv to the next level? Don't miss Jimmy's Art of Slow Comedy Level 2 class, starting Nov. 4!