An Alternative to Resolutions

I know by now some of you have already come up with your New Year’s resolutions. Had I made any this year, I would have broke them already. They never seem to work for me. If resolutions work for you, God Bless, keep it up. I am envious of you.

Of course, I would like to make some changes in my life, but knowing my somewhat fragile personality, declaring them as resolution just puts way too much pressure on myself and seems to set me up to fail, which is something I would like to avoid.

Luckily, I have found other ways to change. How change has typically worked for me in the past is that I have to be in so much pain with my behavior that I bottom out on it. Like a drug addict or alcoholic, when I’m at my bottom, I realize that this behavior is making my life a mess, and then I can then become humble enough to ask the Universe to take it away. The hardest part with this method is The Universe works on its own schedule, so even though I keep asking to stop doing certain behaviors, it takes own sweet time to actually make me stop. But when it comes through, the changes are lasting.

Here are some current things that I would like to change in 2018. l know you have heard me talk about these over the years, but I hope that this is really the year that I am able to do things differently so I will have a whole new list of things I would like to change in 2019. Here we go!

1. Have More Gratitude
   Comedy/improv/show business -- whatever you want to call it that we are in -- can put me in state of “I am not getting enough.” It can be hard to be happy with where I’m at, especially when I see people going higher on the comedy food chain. If you struggle with this too, one thing that I’ve found that helps me get out of this mindset is to take a couple of minutes out of my day to either make a list of thing I am grateful for or to simply spend a few minutes appreciate what I do have in my life: a great daughter and wife and career. It makes me appreciate what I do have and opens the door to get even more.

2. Be Less Judgmental
   God this is hard for me, but I am seeing that it gets in the way of my joy, my relationships and my success, to name a few. For me, being judgmental is a reflex. If I am scared, I judge. If I feel shame, I judge. If I feel happy or something great happens, I judge, so I medicate myself from feeling any sort of joy. I used to think since I was in comedy being judgmental was an asset, but I was wrong. It is hell. I have been talking about this one of years, I am ready to have it removed like a cancerous tumor.
3. Create More
   Some of the happiest times in my life have been when I was using my creativity, such as when I’m working on a show. Any show, like a new one-person show, a sketch show, or an improv show. Some of those shows did really well, and others not so well, but 80 percent of the time I loved the process. What usually ruins it for me is the expectations that I put on it that it better be a hit or it’s going take me to stardom. Just writing this I see how idiotic this all sounds. In 2018, I have a one-person show that I would like the courage to put up with that I just need the courage to put up with no expectations.
4. Play more
   I want to have more fun in my life, I really do. I have no clue how to do this, so I am putting it out there.
5. Spend 64% Less Time on Social Media
   Do you remember the good old days of Facebook when people would post a photo of a giant pancake at some diner in Wisconsin? When you got excited to "be friended" by an old friend from high school? When you weren't checking your feed every 10 minutes on your phone? Don't get me wrong, there are still some great things about Facebook, but for the most part, it has become an addiction for me. I have the same relationship with Facebook that I have had with food, booze and internet porn. I convince myself I’m only going on Facebook for a couple of minutes to make myself feel better and two hours later I feel worse.

Do you have any behaviors that you would like to change in 2018? Please feel free to include them in the comments portion below. Thanks for reading.

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