Kindness Takes Courage

How many times have you wanted to give an improviser a compliment, but, out of fear, you didn't?

Or have you ever been performing and one of your teammates has been glued to the backline for the entire show and you were afraid to pull them out?

Or you’ve had a thought in your head to say thank you to a coach or a teacher who gave you advice that really turned things around for you, but you never have quite gotten around to thanking them?

I have been guilty of all these things. I am not perfect, as you know.

Kindness takes courage. For some reason, and I don’t know why, it feels hard to make yourself vulnerable enough to be kind to someone else.

In improv, we think it’s supposed to be easy to be kind to others and it’s to happen automatically, because we are there to “make our partner look good” and be supportive of one another. But sometimes it doesn’t happen.

Improv can be competitive, and in comedy, sometimes being funny is valued over being kind.

But recently, I took a risk to be kind that felt really good. I was taking Betsy to school last week and it was her principal's birthday. She’s very attentive to the kids. She remembers every kids’ name and keeps tracks if they have been out. I wanted to give her principal a box of candy for her birthday, which we had already bought. I put it in a gift bag and I asked Betsy if she wanted to sign the gift tag. She said she didn't want to give it to her, because no one else in her class was going to get her a present. 

I said, “You know, Besty, sometimes it takes courage to be kind." I don't know how that came to me. That’s one of those things that happens by accident when you trying to sound like a "good parent."

But it’s true. I had never thought of it that way before. But really, being kind does take courage, especially in today's world.

Giving someone a complement or saying thank you seems so simple, and if I’ve had a bad show myself or a bad day, it the last thing I want to do.

Yes, it can be scary and awkward to be nice to someone else, and sometimes I don't even like the response I get back, but 98% of the time, when I am kind to someone else, I feel better.

So I took the box of candy to school, even though Besty did not want her name on the card. But when I dropped Betsy off at the back door of the school, the principal was standing there. She greeted Betsy by her official school name (“Elizabeth”), and was glad to see her back since she had been out sick for few a days.

I handed the principal the box of candy and felt even better than I usually do, since I realized kindness, today more than ever, takes courage, and I was glad on this morning I had enough to do it.

Want to study with Jimmy Carrane? Don't miss his Level 1 class on Wednesdays in Glenview, starting April 26!