Notes to My Younger Self

When I started out in improv, I had no clue what I was doing on or off stage. I knew I wanted to be famous — that was it. I was a mess. Looking back, I wish I would have done things differently. So, today if I could talk to my younger self, this is some of the wisdom I would pass down to him, and to you as well.

1. Fail Often
   Failure is the number one way to get better at everything. There is no substitute or way around it. Most of us want to avoid it, but failure is like eating vegetables — it may not taste very good, but it's good for us.
2. You Don't Have to Prove Anything
   My whole life, I did not feel worthy, so everything I got involved in, including improv, I was trying so damn hard to prove myself. In improv, I was always trying to prove I was funny or that I was a good improviser. Not only does that usually make you a pain in the ass to work with, but it also gets in the way of learning, which leads into my next point.
3. Always Be Learning
   If you can replace the idea of trying to prove yourself or trying to be the best with “What can I learn from this situation?”, you will not only grow as improviser, but you will also have more peace in your life and be easier to be around. Relax — you are enough.
4. Be More Generous
   Both on stage and off. When I started doing improv, instead of focusing on building a good scene on stage, getting the laugh was the most important thing to me, mostly because of needing to prove myself (see number 2 on the list). Today, yes, I still want to get laughs, I am not a saint, but I’ve also realized how important it is build a rock solid foundation in a scene so my teammates can play, too. And sometimes that means being generous to others and letting them get the laugh.

   Off stage, I’ve realized that important being generous with compliments, instead of being so withholding and feeling threatened, is important too. And I would also tell my younger self not to be so judgmental and jealous, which leads to talking shit about people.

5. Diversify
   I wish I would have learned this sooner. I turned down a lot of great opportunities, including jobs that paid more than free beer after a show, because of my stubbornness that I only wanted to be an improviser. There is more to life than improv.
6. People Matter
   When I was younger, I was so focused on wanting to get to the top and succeed, which was more about my low self-esteem than about doing the work. Even though I seemed friendly and outgoing, I was a bit of an island and I didn't see the value in friendships. At one point when I stop drinking, I cut most of my improv friends out of my life, which I thought was going to help me get ahead. Except it didn’t work; it was just a recipe for loneliness. I have probably made the biggest mistakes in this department, and what I’ve learned today, is that maintaining friendships with others is the only thing that really matters.

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