Feeling the Love on My Birthday

For me as a performer, I always want the audience to love me, and all the other kinds of love don't matter.

This month I turned 60, and my wife and I gathered 12 of my friends for a party at our house to celebrate my birthday.

After dinner, and before they brought the cake out to sing “Happy Birthday,” I was brave enough to ask my friends: "What is one thing you like about me?"

I was nervous to ask, and even more nervous for them to reply.

There was an awkward pause at first. Maybe people thought I was kidding?

I was ready to retract it when someone finally spoke up. "You are authentic and kind.”

And then someone else said: "You make me feel included."

And then someone else: "You are always trying to better yourself."

"You really listen and take an interest in me when I talk to you."

Then it got out of hand. People started double dipping and taking two and three turns and piling on more and more compliments, as if they wanted to see how many it would take to kill me. It had gone from uncomfortable to embarrassing.

When it was over, what I had learned was simple: We all just want to feel loved, I have just gone about the wrong way.

I have thought for many years that to get that kind of love you have to earn it. I thought it came from achievements, which is why I have been obsessed with fame and fortune my whole life.

That night, my friends showed me differently. They showed me that love has nothing to do with accomplishments.

It seems so obvious when I write it, but trust me, I am clueless about these kinds of things.

The older I get, the wiser I have become. And by wisdom I don’t just mean knowing more. I mean the wisdom that you can get from seeing things more clearly, which comes from removing those things that block us from feeling love from others, and my birthday party was a great way to experience that. 

It was hard to ask people what they like about me, but I’m glad I did, even though it’s going to take a whole year to get over it.

Are you an actor who would like to try improv? Don't miss Jimmy's Improv for Actors Workshop this Sunday!