Finding Your People in Improv
My 10-year-old daughter went to art camp this summer, and the first week, she was excluded by some other girls she thought were her friends. The advice I kept giving her was, "If they are excluding you, they are not your friends. Make friends with the other people in camp."
This is great advice for improvisers. I cannot tell you how many times I wasn't asked to be in a group or was rejected from a theater or show I had auditioned for and felt I was being excluded. It's hard not to feel that wat if you are as sensitive as I am. I think the part of the advice that applies to improvisers is to "make friends with other people in camp."
As improvisers we think if we get into that "special" group or show or theater we will be magically validated, and if we don't, we are failures. I cannot tell you how many people I have known, including myself, who were miserable that they were never hired by Second City.
But if we focus on "making friends with other people" and finding the people who we want to work with, or in some cases already work with us, we will thrive. We will be happier. We will do great work. We will make lifelong friends. That has been my experience as both a performer and as a director of improv. Some of the best projects I have been a part of were created by people who just wanted to work together.
When I first started taking improv classes in 1983 in Chicago, I loved it so much because I had found "my people.” That doesn’t mean that I loved every person in my very first improv class, but as I continued to do improv, I continued to find people I wanted to work with, and after 40 years I keep finding the people I meshed with, who had the same sensibility as me and a similar sense of humor and commitment to the work.
We found each other because we were putting ourselves out there on a regular basis in classes and shows. It was that simple. When you are yourself, people who are similar to you will gravitate towards you.
In the ‘80s in Chicago, I first found "my people" at The Players Workshop when six of us formed a group after graduation. Then I found them at IO, when after playing with three awful Harold teams I was put on the house team, Tequila Mockingbird. Next I found them at the Annoyance Theater, then with Jazz Freddy, then back at IO when I played with the original cast of Armando, Pent, Carl and The Passions, godshow, Burning Desires, and today with Jimmy and Johnnie.
Sometimes I had to help form the group or show. Other times, people asked me to be part of the group or show. And doing my own stuff always led to more offers to do other people's stuff. Work begets work.
My daughter took the advice and made new friends. And guess what happened when she stopped focusing on being friends with the girls who were excluding her? They started to include her. It’s a tough lesson to learn, but in the process, she made more friends, which when she starts doing improv, will lead to more opportunities.
Want to learn Jimmy's method of Slow Comedy? Don't miss the next Drop-In Virtual Class on July 28!